The familiar red messenger alert popped up on my Facebook in October. My friend Jessica had sent me this simple message:
"Hi! Is it possible to have a talk when u have a min? Im curious about bringing an idea to life with you."
Because Jessica has always been wonderful, supportive, and lively I told her we should talk for many minutes. We both hopped on the phone and Jessica, with the emotions of love and loss mixed within her otherwise strong and happy voice, told me about Alyssa.
"Are you familiar with ALS?" Jessica asked me.
"I'm not."
"It's a terminal illness in the brain that attacks the nerve cells. With ALS your body shuts down usually starting at your legs and then moving up your body until you can't control anything and you lose the ability to care for yourself." "Oh my gosh," I said as I sat at the foot of my bed, knowing Jessica was going to tell me someone she knew was fighting an unwinnable battle.
Jessica took a deep breath, "My best friend, Alyssa, has it."
My heart squeezed for Jessica.
I asked more questions, just trying to puzzle out this disease I'd never heard of and how it has stolen the health of a mother of two.
No more using stairs.
No more walking.
No more cooking.
No more doing makeup.
No driving.
And each day, sometimes slowly, sometimes faster than anyone wanted to talk about, other parts of Alyssa's body failed her.
In a few short months, Alyssa went from healthy activity and control to needing a walker then to needing a motorized wheelchair.
"It's just not fair," Jessica told me. "She's so young. She has these amazing kids and this amazing husband. They are just good people. They've been by my side through everything. We've raised our kids together, it's like they are siblings. They are just so good. Then to see this happen to her, to my best friend-"
Jessica paused, her emotions so heavy, so big that for a few moments, they took her ability to speak. "It's just been really hard to see what's happened to these people who are my family. But I want her to see more than what ALS has taken from her."
Then Jessica told me her idea.
One of beauty, grace, and gentle elegance- a photoshoot so that Alyssa could see how beautiful she is and so her family could have a lasting legacy of their mother.
"Melinda, I am serious about this," Jessica told me. "I believe you are the only one who could do this, who could make this elegant and create something beautiful. You are the one I trust to do this so whatever it costs."
I tried to cut in but Jessica wouldn't let me.
"No, really, whatever it costs, Melinda. I don't care about numbers, I don't care if I have to make payments. This is for my best friend and she has done so much for me," Jessica said through her breaking voice, but this time she didn't stop. "I want to do this for her and I don't care about numbers."
I swallowed back my own tears as I nodded my head.
I knew early on in Jessica's story of Alyssa that numbers wouldn't be something we'd be discussing.
"Jessica, I feel called to do this," I said slowly, trying to treat the words with the reverence I felt. "I feel like this is something God wants me to do. I'll do this because I think that's why Heavenly Father has given me this gift."
Jessica choked out an emotional thank you, and once even tried to talk me out of it. But I got my assignment from someone way above her pay grade.
Over the course of a few days, I talked to Lucas, Alyssa's husband and gatekeeper of all things Alyssa (followed closely by their daughter and son and, of course, Jessica). Lucas is a man who loves his wife with a stoic, certain passion. I don't know if Lucas actually sees anyone else except Allyssa and his family. This man is laser-focused, determined, articulate, and, probably, impossible to intimidate . . . but I would recommend not testing that theory.
Lucas told me the structure of their life like a craftsman talking about the tools needed for the job at hand.
There was no asking for sympathy.
No resentment.
No fluffy words.
Just the facts of how their lives were and what I could expect.
But don't let Lucas's unflappable personality fool you, this man feels deeply. With quiet words of respect and gratitude, Lucas agreed to the plan Jessica set in place.
After talking with Alyssa we moved forward. But not without strong stipulations.
One, that Alyssa trust me.
That despite what she felt about her body and how its shape had changed due to ALS disconnecting her ability to use her legs and stabilizing muscles, she would trust Shea and I in this process and we would take care of everything. And two, that Alyssa was to be honest.
If it was a bad day on the shoot day, she would tell me and we would reschedule.
If she got tired she would tell me and we would take a break.
If she needed to call it after 15 minutes of us being there, call it.
Of course, Alyssa agreed and a few weeks later Shea and I arrived at the beautiful Anthony home in the hills of Waverly New York.
Shea, operating with both the skills of a phenomenal makeup artist and counselor, worked around Alyssa's chair as she talked with our new friend.
While Shea worked her magic I looked at the light in Alyssa's large bedroom. Soon furniture was moved, minimal lighting set up, backdrop steamed, and chairs placed.
Jessica, who wouldn't have missed this for anything, moved around all of us guiding and directing the men in between fetching and moving various things.
And then it was time for me to do what I do.
. . . . here is where I have to pause in this story. See, I don't want this to be about my skills as a creator. But I do need a few things to be understood because they are important to how these portraits turned out. What you don't see in these pictures is the opposing light that was coming in from outside with no way to block it. You also don't see the very small space we needed to work in.
These are important parts of this story because both of these challenges ruin images. And that's not taking into account that Alyssa's comfort and safety were at the forefront of everyone's mind.
As a professional photographer who's been photographing women for over a decade, whose job it is to create beautiful images, I look at this family, the lighting, the styling, all of it, and I am amazed at how beautiful these images are because given the challenges that were present, these shouldn't be that good because I'm not that good.
I said early on I felt called to photograph the Anthony family, and not just by Jessica. I believe that there was divine help and inspiration and guidance given in the creation of these images.
"But they are just pictures, Melinda," the cynic might say. "Surly God doesn't care about something as basic as pictures. He's got bigger things to worry about."
They'd be wrong. God does care. These are not 'basic pictures'.
These are not simply images that will live on a social media page. And the Anthony family isn't just any old family.
And Alyssa isn't 'just' anything.
The Anthony family IS the bigger picture.
When I photographed this family I saw Alyssa bring forward a strength that brought me to tears more than once. I saw a father and a son work together, not as parent and child, but as men caring for a woman they loved.
I saw a mother hold her daughter, mentally adding another tally to the number of times she would hold her little girl with her own arms using her own strength.
I saw a family laugh about the ever-changing state of their lives all while making space for normalcy and the future.
This is the biggest picture.
This is the reason life is worth living even when hell comes knocking at your door. It is this family with this trial with these friends under these circumstances that matters more than anything else.
And though we only spent a few hours together that day, what the Anthony family gave me will stay with me always. A reminder that, when life is stripped down to the hardest truths, the bonds we share and the love we hold can shine beyond our struggles.
As I made my 20-minute drive back to my studio in Ulster Pennsylvania, I knew we'd captured not just their family but a resilience that even ALS couldn’t diminish. These images are more than photos—they are proof of a love that endures, of grace in the face of loss, and of a family that embodies what it truly means to live.
Many heartfelt thanks to the Anthony family and Jessica who upheld every stipulation I placed on them. My friends, your trust in me leaves me humbled and thankful beyond words. And of course, all my gratitude to my creative companion, Shea, who without hesitation volunteered her time and skills to create for the Anthonys alongside me. Your gifts of service inspire me.
Love,
Melinda
P.S. Are you interested in an incredible photoshoot experience with Melinda? Whether it be a branding photoshoot, birthday photoshoot, mother and daughter pictures, headshots, or contemporary portraits and boudoir we will create something show-stopping that celebrates you!
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